On the outside Ben looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly, but inside he was filled with rage.  Ben had lived in 15 foster homes by the time he was seven. No wonder he was a challenge.

We decided to try a new approach to get through to Ben: a horse.  And not just any horse, but Simon—a horse with a feisty, stubborn personality just like Ben’s.

Ben and Simon forged a special bond.  Together they learned to trust. Working with Simon taught Ben the skills needed to overcome his traumatic abuse experience.  Thanks to Simon—and the support of donors like you—Ben is a different child.  
Children like Ben need your help today.  Your gift to Hope Haven is a lifesaver to children all across the Lowcountry.
Thank you for your generosity—it means so much to your youngest neighbors.

In the following letter to the editor published in the Beaufort Gazette and Island Packet, Hope Haven's executive director Shauw-Chin Capps addressed recent stories about sexual abuse within the Duggar family, who star in the reality television show '19 Kids and Counting':

Child sexual abuse deserves courageous, strong steps in response
   
The Abuse Prevention Coalition, made up of three local nonprofit organizations that serve child abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault victims, feels compelled to respond to the recent news of the Duggar family sexual abuse scandal. 
First and foremost, we feel it is imperative that the well-being of the children is the priority.
We at Hope Have of the Lowcountry, the Child Abuse Prevention Association and Citizens Opposed to Domestic Violence also hope important lessons about the prevention of child sexual abuse will be learned from this high-profile story.

Child sexual abuse thrives in an environment of denial and fear. 
Child sexual abuse is a parent's worst nightmare, made even worse when it's happening within one's own home. In the Duggar case, the oldest sibling, Josh Duggar, has been connected with abuse of younger siblings and other younger children. 
When such abuse is discovered, many parents' initial reactions involve denial--especially when the offender is one's own child. The parent may feel the need to protect the child who is offending, while also trying to protect the victims. Sadly in the Duggar's situation, the parents remained in a state of denial and fear.
The takeaway here is that courage is essential if we are serious about protecting children and ending child sexual abuse. 
    
Ninety percent of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their abuser, and 40 percent of children who are sexually abused are abused by older or more powerful children. 
While we may picture a scary stranger behind a bush, most people who sexually abuse children are people the children love and care for. 
As demonstrated in the Duggar case, a child sexually abusing another child can and does happen. This must not be mistaken as simply child's play. There is a huge difference between developmentally age-appropriate sexual exploration, often done with peers, and an older child sexually abusing a younger or less powerful child. Josh Duggar is the oldest child and thus the oldest sibling. 
In addition, when there is a pattern of sexual offenses--in Josh Duggar's case, he confessed to sexually abusing his younger sibling on many occasions-this should be a huge red flag. Any incidents involving children committing sexual offenses on other children should be taken seriously and reported to law enforcement and the Department of Social Services. 
The point of reporting a child or youth who is offending is not to criminalize them but to get the professional help needed for the offending child and the victims, which brings us to the next lesson.
    
Youths who commit sexual offense against children need appropriate professional help. 
We know from reports that the Duggar’s sought spiritual counsel from the elders of their church, and the parents claimed to have sent Josh Duggar to some sort of counseling program (although Michelle Duggar later told police that Josh had been working for a family friend's home-remodeling business).
While spiritual counsel can certainly help, it should never replace professional counseling by a qualified therapist. 
It is critical for the community to know that, when youth offenders get help, they often do not continue to commit sexual offenses against children as adults. Getting professional help is possibly one of the most important steps to prevent sexual abuse in the future. Unfortunately, Josh Duggar was never afforded this opportunity. 
Victims also need the chance for treatment, healing and justice. Without proper treatment, child sexual abuse can cause trauma that follows children into adulthood. Depression, obesity, suicide and even health issues such as heart problems and cancer can be linked to child sexual abuse. 

Not everything faith-based is good.
There has been disturbing news about the home-schooling curriculum used by the Duggar family, which is called Advanced Training Institute and was developed by Bill Gothard, who has been accused and investigated for multiple incidents of sexual harassment. It purports to be a Christian curriculum, which is not the problem.
The problem is with the content of the topic of sexual abuse, where parents are to question the abuse victim about her own behavior and how she might have prompted the abuse by "defrauding" God. According to the curriculum, the possible reasons God let the abuse occur include: immodest dress, indecent exposure and being with evil friends. If the abused is somehow "not at fault" according to the ATI curriculum, the victim is asked to choose between victimization or being made "mightier in spirit" by their own abuse.
This is sad case of how a misinformed theology and faith can put children at risk. The ATI curriculum feeds into the victim-blaming mentality rampant in our culture. This mentality often drives victims further into seclusion and shame. 
When it comes to protecting children from sexual abuse, we can choose to stay in denial and fear, or we can choose courage and take steps to prevent abuse. Choosing courage is the only way we will end this epidemic. 

On Friday, April 10, Hope Haven of the Lowcountry is hosting our annual Take Back the Night and YOU are invited to submit a design for our event T-Shirt! The winning design will receive a $100 prize, a FREE shirt featuring their design and recognition at Take Back the Night!

Each year in honor of April being Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention Month, Hope Haven holds Take Back the Night to shatter the silence of child abuse and sexual violence. The evening is filled with rousing words of hope from survivors, inspiring performances from musicians, and moving messages from poets. At the end of the evening, luminaries will be lit in honor of the 500+ survivors Hope Haven served in 2014.  The winning T-Shirt design will better support Hope Haven in spreading awareness and achieving our mission in the Lowcountry!

CONTEST RULES:

1.      The winning design must include: our name “Hope Haven of Lowcountry” and the words “Take Back the Night”. Participants are encouraged to explore the Hope Haven website www.hopehavenLC.org and our Facebook page (Hope Haven of the Lowcountry) to learn more about what we do.

2.      Your design may include up to 3 colors and must fit the front side of a T-Shirt. Artists are invited to write their signature on the bottom, right corner of their design so their signature will be included on the printed T-Shirt design. Signature must be one of the 3 colors used in the design.

3.      Entries must be submitted to: [email protected] or handed in at Hope Haven no later than Friday, January 30, 2015.

4.      The design must be your own, original work. No stock images or copyrighted material may be used.

5.      Hope Haven of the Lowcountry reserves the right to make changes to the winning design before printing, including but not limited to: changes in image size, color and clarity. In submitting your design, you grant permission for Hope Haven to use your design on the Take Back the Night T-Shirts, on Hope Haven websites and in future marketing materials.

Please complete the entry form and submit it along with your design to [email protected].

"Most people are not able to look back on their life and say, 'That’s it. That is the moment my whole life changed.' I am 
one of the few who can do just that..."

Read the story of a woman helped by Hope Haven to overcome childhood sexual abuse as she tells it in her own words. Click below to read the full story.

This morning, Hope Haven celebrated the sentencing in two cases we have worked very hard on.  Read the article about the victory in today's Island Packet by clicking here. 
 
Working in close collaboration with law enforcement and prosecutors, Hope Haven conducted the investigative interviews and medical evaluations of the children that were instrumental in the prosecution of both cases.  
 
It is easy to feel a sense of closure since justice has been served. For these children, however, the journey is just beginning. Hope Haven is there for the long haul, providing the necessary counseling for the children to heal from the trauma of their abuse.

Thank you for your ongoing support in helping us effect positive change in our area! 

Before: "It was chaos, with noise, screaming."
After: "Now it is cool, calm."

Lakiesha Orr, 39, of Ridgeland is more than happy to praise Hope Haven of the Low Country's inaugural 14-week Strengthening Families program. As a parent, her days with 6-year-olds Devin Ryan and Chavez Hernandez had been stressful and loud. 

But since she and the children have participated in the program with 10 other families each Thursday at the old Jasper County High School building in Ridgeland, she's found it has been easier to communicate with the children. She's learned tips that have enhanced her parenting skills and have lowered the stress levels.

"It is really good," Orr said last week before the 10th session. "It motivates you to come back each week."

This is an excerpt from an article the Jasper County Sun published about our Strengthening Families Program and the difference it's making for parents and children in our area. You can read the full article here.

Two recent articles by Hope Haven's executive director Shauw Chin Capps point to the need for continued action and advocacy on issues of sexual assault and abuse.

"Words matter when defining sexual assault", Island News, August 23, 2012. Shauw Chin's response to Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments. The silver lining to this national outrage is that it brings much needed awareness to this very important issue, and hopefully, much needed policy changes to support the critical work of rape crisis centers across the nation.

"Be your child's advocate to prevent sexual abuse", Island Packet, September 10, 2012. Shauw Chin encourages parents and caregivers to be advocates for their children in preventing child sexual abuse.

Beaufort High School girls soccer team joined hands with Hope Haven to raise awareness and funds to help victims of child abuse and sexual violence. The team spearheaded a fundraising activity with a local restaurant, Rancho Grande, where 10% of the proceeds on a certain day was donated to Hope Haven. We want to thank all the girls, coaches and leaders for supporting Hope Haven’s important mission!

Read about this and other Hope Haven news in the latest edition of our newsletter. Learn about our recent Lilies on the River and Take Back the Night events, and the latest efforts to raise awareness in our region, by clicking on the link below. 

On Saturday, May 12, 2012, CrossFit Hilton Head, a local gym, put on the “Workout of the Day for Hope Haven” event to raise money and awareness. Watch this inspiring video on how one local business has stepped up to the plate to join Hope Haven in the fight against child abuse and sexual violence.